Sex Crazed Sasuke
by chibza
Summary: After a medic experiment gone wrong Sasuke now views everything in a sexual, kinky and dirty way…what is a naïve and innocent Sakura to do when she is assigned to get the old brooding and cold Sasuke back!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!!!

Sex Crazed Sasuke

Chapter 1

"Sakuraaaaaaaaaaaa!" Sasuke drawled. "My back hurts, wanna give me a massage?" He looked over his shoulder at me from where he was lying, which was unfortunately my couch. I was dusting near the doorway when he said that and it was a good time to make a quick escape. I looked back at him, "Heh…maybe next time aye Sasuke…I uhh…have to go to the bathroom. Stomach cramps!" and with that I grabbed my stomach and ran out. I sighed when I reached my room.

Maybe it was a bad choice to choose Sasuke as the guinea pig for my new experiment, but he was the only one available. All my friends from the other teams were out on missions and Naruto was no where to be found at that time, but all I can say is that Uchiha Sasuke has become SEX CRAZED!!! It all started like this:

Flash back

"Sasuke-kun!" I yelled as I approached the slumped moody male. "Sasuke-kun!" I panted. "Can you please…please help with me with…with my experiment?" He looked at me with that cold glare of his and raised an eyebrow. "Hn."

"Hn?" I frowned at him. "Is that a yes or no? Please help!" I begged and gave him puppy dog eyes. "I'll help you with your training afterwards." Another grunt in reply. Then an answer, "You're so annoying." I smiled and ran off towards the medic centre, knowing that he would eventually follow.

In my office at the medic centre, I prepared the equipments, I was trying out a new thing that I know has never been done before; sending a message from a computer to a person that is connected to it. Now, all I need was Sasuke. I giggled at the thought. What message should I say? I love you, Sasuke? I blushed and giggled again.

There was finally a knock at the door and in came the one and only handsome Uchiha. I blushed again and motioned for him to sit on one of the chairs. As I ran my hands over his head and temple to feel for the two points where I was going to patch the connection cables with I couldn't help noticing that his hair was pretty soft (I supposed his spikes are natural) and that he does have taste in nice smelling hair products. I found the two points and carefully attached the patch. I was so distracted by his hair and being so close to him that I didn't notice I have accidentally swapped the cables.

Reluctantly I slowly patched in the last cable. I went round to the computer and started up the program. "Are you ready Sasuke-kun?" I asked cheerily. I got a bored grunt in reply, I guess he is ready. I flexed my fingers then typed in the word 'Bananas are long and yellow.'

I waited for a few moments. "Sasuke-kun, did you get any message?" No answer. "Sasuke-kun?" Silence. I peered over the computer and there was Sasuke slumped forward on his chair, eyes closed. Oh shit! I walked over and shook him gently. "Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun can you hear me?" No response. I shook him harder this time. "Wake up Sasuke-kun!" Still no answer. Well, I hate to do this but there was no other way.

Sasuke finally jerked awake after a loud slap to his face. "Huh?" He squinted at me. "Where am I?"

Ok this wasn't good. "Ummm, you're in my office Sasuke-kun." I replied, and crossed my fingers, hoping that I hadn't made him lose his memory. He looked into my eyes and that was when I noticed that something was different in them, it was cloudy instead of clear.

His expression turned from a dazed one to one with a smirk. I slowly backed away as he advanced forward. This wasn't right. My back hit the edge of the table. Shit! I know that I should be jumping for joy since I was being corned by the one and only Sasuke, but this Sasuke was just too scary!

His body pressed against mine and I leaned back as he leaned in towards me. When I couldn't lean back any further I decided to speak up. "Uhhh…Sasuke-kun, don't you think you're a bit too close?" His smirk grew wider and he pressed against me even harder. "Say Sakura, why don't we have some fun?"

I swear my jaw nearly hit the floor.

A/N: ok maybe that was a bit too short for a chapter, but originally I wasn't even going to bother writing this fic…haha that was after I realised that I had already written a page and so I just thought 'why not." Anyways I hope you enjoy it, I might even write another chapter if I'm not busy!!! Review if you must!!! XD XD XD


	2. Chapter 2

OK OK OK! I know it has been a while! I AM TRULY SORRY! SORRY SORRY! Please read, hope you guys are still interested in the story!!! SORRY once again!!!

Chapter 2

And here I am now, locking myself in my room in my own house. Let me tell you it was tough to get out of the office with Sasuke trying to climb over you, but this was worse! I mean I'm in a house all alone with Sasuke whose hormones are in overdrive!

I slowly opened my door and cautiously stuck my head out. I couldn't hear a thing, not even the TV that was turned on just a minute ago. I looked down the hallway, nope, nothing. I slowly slipped out and closed the door quietly, maybe Sasuke has gone out. I tiptoed across the hallway, stopping and wincing at every creak the floorboards made.

Then it suddenly came to me and I smacked myself on the head. This is my house! Why should I be tiptoeing in my own house! Damn that Sasuke! I frowned then stomped the rest of the hallway, but when I reached the end of the hallway and the top of a staircase I peeked over the edge first to see if Sasuke was anywhere. Nope, the bottom storey was clear. So maybe if I just sprint downstairs and out the front door I'll be out of the front door in no-

"SAKURAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"ARGHHHHHHH!!!" The damn guy was behind me all along! I was tackled from the back and since I was unfortunately on the edge of the stairs on my toes I was tumbling down with Sasuke wrapped around me.

"OOF! OOF! OFF!" let me tell you, bouncing down the stairs isn't exactly a wonderful experience. We landed, quite ungracefully at the bottom of the stairs with Sasuke's head resting literally between the valley of my breast. Oh shit! Sasuke looked up dazed and seeing the position we are in, he smirked. Oh shit indeed.

I tried crawling backwards as he advanced, pinning my lower body to the floor so that I couldn't move. "Heh, Sasuke what are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" He whispered huskily. Oh dear. "Hehe, Sasuke can you please stop?" His face was getting closer and closer and his smirk wider and wider.

I did the only think I could think of. I slapped the Uchiha genius! Sasuke looked shocked. "What was that for?" Err, my thoughts exactly. Why had I slapped him? "Ummm," I gave him a toothy grin and hoped that he wouldn't slap me back. "Because Michael Jackson is behind you staring at your butt."

"Huh? Where?" Sasuke turned his head around and I quickly grasped the chance to press a pressure point on his neck. At once he slumped down on top of me. It was hard tying to get him off me but after a few minutes of struggling and mumbling curses he was off. Looking around I surveyed my house, now where would the best place to put an unconscious sex crazed Sasuke?

Ha! I founded just the place. Right under the coffee table! I grinned to myself as I dragged the heavy body under the table and imagined what Sasuke's reaction was going to be like. I stood up and dusted my hands; Sasuke's head was sticking out on one end and his feet on the other. Smirking and chuckling to myself I went up for a shower, he would be out for a while. Or so I thought.

Just as I had finished showering I heard a loud thump and Sasuke's loud curses. I giggled into my hand and proceeded to wiping myself down. Just as an angry Sasuke arrived knocking angrily at the bathroom door I realised that I had my change of clothes in my room. Oh shit. How am I meant to get past a perverted Sasuke with just a towel on?

Hehehehehhehehehe just one of my many famous cliffhangers. Haha im sorry if this chapter was a disappointment. I was feeling mightly hugely and tremendously guilty so I had to submit a chapter for my dear fellow readers!!! Reviews will be much liked:D Thankies to you all readers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale Exhaleeee. Ok so in this situation where I am fully naked and unguarded with only a door between me and the Uchiha, what is the best thing to do? Two seconds later, I had an AHA! moment. I grinned to myself, yes this would work out just fine. I turned back towards the door, Sasuke was still banging on it and little bits of dust were shimmering down to the floor. I wrapped my towel around me tightly and stepped closer to the door and under the rain of dusk. Now that wasn't a good idea at all. I started to sneeze and cough and the banging suddenly stopped.

"Sakura? Sakura? Are you alright in there? Sakura answer me goddamn it! Are you being molested? SAKURA!!! NOOOOO DON'T DIE ON ME!!!!! WE HAVEN'T HAD SEX YET!!!"

I stopped sneezing and moved away from the door, my eyes wide open. He wanted sex!!!!??? This is not good!! NOT GOOD AT ALL!!!

Wait. Who was being molested? "SAKURAAAAAA! ANSWER ME BEFORE I BREAK THIS DOOR DOWN!" BANG! BANG! BANG! The hinges started rattling. Oh shit!

"WAIT SASUKE! IF YOU BREAK THIS GODDAMN DOOR IM GONNA CHOP YOUR BALLS OFF AND FEED IT TO THE CHICKENS!" Oops. I covered my mouth and swore inwardly. The inner Sakura had surfaced. I froze still covering my mouth, there was silence on the other side.

"But I like my balls." Sasuke pouted. His words came out so quietly that if i weren't in this situation i would have laughed out at his cuteness.

"Sasuke?" Pause. "Sasuke can you please wait for me in the living room? I'll be out shortly and we can talk about this….obsession of yours." I heard a quiet mumble and the shuffling of retreating footsteps. When Sasuke could be heard no more I slumped against the door and sighed. Phew! That was just far too close.

I quickly stepped out and hurried across the corridor, the living was no where near the bathroom so I was safe. Locking my bedroom door I turned around and ran smack into someone. Double shit.

I held the towel tightly against me and looked up into…….silver eyes. Wait. Silver? What the hell is Neji doing in my room! "ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OUT! OUT! OUT!" I grabbed him by the collar in one hand, unlocked the door and shoved him out. "GET OUT!"

I jumped and screamed, Sasuke had just appeared from nowhere. "Sakura-chan! What is he doing here?"

I tightened the grip of my towel. "GET OUT YOU PERVERTED MEN!!!!!" and slammed the door.

Outside I could here Sasuke arguing with Neji, then a grunt, thump and silence. I blinked, did they both faint? I quickly pulled on my clothes and gently turned the lock.

"Guys?" I whispered, then stuck my head out. To my surprise, Sasuke was on the floor unconscious and Neji was beside him rubbing his arms with a disgusted look on his face. "Err, what did you do to him Neji?"

Neji turned and frowned at me. "What did I do to him?! Something is wrong with him! He just meowed and stroked my arm!!!"

"BAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!" I couldn't help it, I just had to laugh.

Neji gave him his famous glare. "Not funny woman! What did you do to him?"

"Erm, experiment gone wrong. Wait, what do you mean I did that to him? How'd you know it was me?"

He sighed. "There is a security camera in there you know. Tsunade-sama saw you getting….intimate with Uchiha, which is why I am here. She wants to see you in her office when your ready." He turned to leave, then turned back and smirked. "Oh and by the way I think you should consider cleaning up your room, just in case someone of the opposite sex happen to visit it. I mean you leave quite a few of your clothes lying around." He gave me another smirk and I could feel myself getting red.

"Get out!" I huffed and pushed him all the way through the front door. First Sasuke, now Neji, who else is going to be next? Shino? I shivered and turned back to the unconscious Uchiha. What to do with him now? Perhaps tying him up to something? A post or door perhaps? Yes, a door would do just fine. Serves him right for being a pervert, even if it was my fault in the first place.

Summoning up my charka I lifted Sasuke off the floor and using a thin, yet tough rope I tied it securely around the fainted guy. It was hard tying him to the door, but boy was he in for a surprise when he wakes up. I closed the door to admire my work. Hmmm perhaps a bit of facial improvement could be done, not that he needs it but just to my entertainment it must be done. Taking a permanent black marker from my drawer I started to colour around his eyes. Haha let him be a panda for a day!

As I was getting myself ready to meet Tsunade I didn't hear my front door slam open and jumped in surprise when my bathroom door suddenly slammed open. A groan could be heard from the unconscious Sasuke as the front of his whole body connected to the opposite wall. Oops! That wasn't meant to happen! I dropped my lip gloss and Naruto (the intruder) jumped in surprise at the sight of Sasuke tied up to my bathroom door.

"Sakura-chan! What is the teme doing tied up in your bathroom? THIS IS NOT FAIR! WHY CAN HE BE CLOSE TO YOU AND I CAN'T! I DEMAND YOU TO TIE ME TO YOUR BATHROOM DOOR AS WELL!!!

I looked over at the blonde. "Naruto, don't be stupid!"

"I am not stupid! I WANT TO BE TIED UP AS WELL! TIED UP!"

I left the house in a huff with Naruto tied happily on my bedroom door. I blushed as I walked to Tsunade's office, remember what Neji had told me about my teacher seeing Sasuke come on to me. One could only hope that she will listen to my explanation or else I'll tie her up to her own door as well.

Tsunade sat grinning behind her desk with a bottle of sake in one of her hands. "Sit down, sit down Sakura dear." Her smile grew wider. "I assume you know what I have called you in here for."

I blushed and nodded. "Tsunade-sama I think you might have misunderstood though I-"

She held up a hand and waved me to silence. "Nonsense! Nonsense! I have never misunderstood a situation. Now I saw what went on in the office from the start I presume something went wrong with the experiment?"

I nodded eagerly, glad that Tsunade understood what had happened. "Yes, I think its because I must have swapped one of the cables around."

"Well it must be a good cable because I see love blooming!"

"Huh?"

"Well its good that Sasuke is taking a step forward and coming to the conclusion of this nonsense meeting your next mission is to have a baby by next year."

"WHAT?!"

Tsunade gave out a drunken laugh. "I was just joking, but I actually have a mission for you and that is you must reverse the changes you did to Sasuke, ok?"

I nodded.

"Good! Now dismissed! And have plenty of fun!" She winked at me and hurriedly pushed me out the door and as I was outside she stuck her head out and yelled. "I STILL WANT A GRANDCHILD!"

A/N: hehe well this is this and that is that. I am sorry if this story is not up to your standard but I just felt like writing something and so I did! Anyways hope you liked it if not oh well…I'll try better next time then ok? Cheers! Review!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Back at home – Sasuke and Naruto

"OI TEME! WAKE UP!" Naruto screamed. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SAKURA-CHAN?! I DEMAND TO KNOW! AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HER HOUSE AND TIED UP IN THE BATHROOM DOOR MORE LIKE! This is ALL YOUR FAULT! IF YOU WEREN'T TIED UP I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN AS WELL! YOU MADE ME DO THIS! AND I WILL AVENGE MYSELF! SASUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

"Yes, Naruto-kun?" Sasuke's voice was surprisingly sweet.

"Yes, Naruto-kun?" Naruto echoed. "What is wrong with you? Where is dobe or baka? In fact where is the real Sasuke-teme?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about Naruto-kun, but can you please untie me I think Sakura-chan wanted to try the art of bondage while I was out. I mean she could have waited, I wouldn't have minded." Sasuke waffled on.

"Bondage? BONDAGE!" Naruto was getting fired up. "WHAT BONDAGE! MY SAKURA-CHAN WOULD NEVER DO THAT! AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION THIS IS THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE AND NON-EROTIC POSITION!"

Sasuke sighed. "It is a waste of my precious breath to talk to you about the art of sex. I mean what would a non-experienced boy like you know about sex and please call me Sasuke-kun, I do not mind at all."

"TEME!!! What are you saying! What have you done to the real teme?!" Naruto started to struggle against his bonds but to no avail as Sakura had tied a double knot and tautly around him. He swore inwardly for his stupidness of wanting to be tied up at the first place. "I SWEAR WHEN I GET AWAY FROM THIS DOOR I WILL MAKE YOU PAY AND TELL ME WHERE SASUKE-TEME IS AND THEN I WILL-" He was cut short when he noticed Sasuke stalking out of the bathroom and rubbing his raw hands where the bonds of the ropes had cut in. "EEEEEKKKKK!!! PANDA! SAUSKE-PANDA! IIIIEEEE! GET AWAY FROM ME! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER I SWEAR I'LL CHOP YOUR EARS OFF AND AHHHHHHH!!"

Naruto struggled against his bonds. "Arghhhhhhhhhh! What are you doing? No! NO! Don'tttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!! Don't touch me there!" Naruto turned away from a smirking Sasuke that was starting to bend down in from of him. "NOOOOOOOOO!!"

A few seconds later, when Naruto realised that no one was touching him, he opened his eyes to see Sasuke lying to Sakura's bed asleep. "OI TEME! WAKE UP! Don't sleep on my Sakura-chan's bed, you'll contaminate it!! TEME!!!!!"

Sasuke opened one eye and looked over at Naruto. "Naruto-kun, if you don't want me to come any closer please let me sleep. Unless.." Sasuke sat up on the bed and grinned. "…you did it on purpose just to get me closer to you." He started off the bed.

Meanwhile I was slowing dragging meself back home and mumbling with Inner Sakura.

Sakura: I can't believe Tsunade-sama said that! I thought she hated Sasuke-kun!

Inner Sakura: Yea, well who's fault is it, hmmm?

Sakura: Yea, well it was an accident! And now I have to change him back. Do you know how hard that's gonna be! He's probably going to steal my first kiss and my first ever session of lovemaking!

Inner Sakura: Can't you use another word instead of lovemaking? Anyways this is your fault so you have to fix it yourself, but if you want my advice I say bed the guy! Huhuhuhuhuhu.

I have now arrived back at my front door and strangely it was rather quiet and calm. Had Naruto escaped? Because knowing him, if he was still tied up he would be yelling his head off. I slowly opened the front door and stuck my head in first. My eyes bulged suddenly at the sight of what was happening before my own virgin eyes!

Sasuke was half naked on top of a gagged and struggling Naruto. When Sasuke sensed my movement and loud gasp he got off Naruto and started forward towards me who was too shock to move, run away or do anything.

"Sakura-chan!" Sasuke reached out, but I snapped back into reality fast enough to avoid his groping hands and ran over to a red faced and a very disgusted Naruto. "Sakura-channnn! Why are you running away from me?" Sasuke pouted. "I just wanted to have some fun!"

"FUN? YOU CALL THIS FUN! THIS IS MOLESTATION!" I had taken the gag of Naruto. "YOU TEME! THAT WAS MY FIRST KISS! FIRST KISS! AND IT WAS TAKEN BY YOU! YOU! A GUY! A GUYYY! WHEN I GET OUT OF THESE ROPES I WILL COME OVER AND CASTRATE YOU!" Naruto was now huffing and even redder than before with steam.

Sasuke placed his hands over the front of his pants and whined. "Not my balls again! Why are all of you bulling my merchandise!"

"Ok! Ok! Lets all calm down shall we?" said I, the peacemaker and the one who started this problem in the first place. "Sasuke get over here and help me untie Naruto first, and don't you try anything on him or me or I'll help him castrate you."

Anything about castration was good enough to blackmail Sasuke. "Hai, Sakura-chan."

Once Naruto was released, I had to quickly grab Naruto as he was lunging himself at Sasuke once the ropes were cut off. "NARUTO! Stay still! I have to tell you what is actually wrong with Sasuke!" Naruto was too furious to listen to me and only quietened when I smacked him on the head with difficulty. "Ok guys, into the dining room."

Naruto and I sat opposite of Sasuke who was looking around in a bored way, oblivious to Naruto's and my serious aura. "Sasuke, why don't you go outside to watch TV?"

"Really?" Sasuke jumped up. "Thanks Sakura-chan," and ran out the door.

"Ok Naruto." I turned to him. "I did this experiment with Sasuke as the guinea pig and I don't really know what happened but I guess the wires have been connected wrongly or the programming was inaccurate. Anyways, since the experiment Sasuke has been acting this way. My only guess is that the machine somehow triggered his hormones and as I have seen, it seems as though Sasuke is not only interested in girls but guys as well."

Naruto's eyes widen, "So you say that Sasuke now wants to sex everyone?"

"Yes, I think. So it might be better if you stay away from him and please don't tell anyone about this. I want to fix it before it gets out of hand. And certainly do not tell Ino or she will come bounding in here and I do not want her to get Sasuke-kun first!"

"But Sakura-channn, what about me?"

"Huh? What about you?

"Sasuke has already stolen my first kiss, can you kiss me to wipe it off?" Naruto puckered his lips and I glared at him before smacking his head again.

"NO! And anyways its your problem, you wanted to be tied up in the first place."

"Yea, but I didn't know Sasuke was like that! I mean if he does it with any sex, does that mean he'll do it with animals as well?"

"Eww! Naruto! What have you been reading? That's disgusting! And no its not going to happen because he won't this place and there certainly won't be any animals coming into this house!"

"Yea, but I'm just saying what if, I mean-"

Naruto was cut off by Sasuke from the living room. "Sakura-chan, there is a pretty bird outside the window! I'm going to go catch it, ok?"

OH MY GOD! Naruto and I looked at each other then quickly dived towards the living room.

A/N: huhuhuhuhuhuhu and that is chapter 4. I hope you all enjoyed it and yes I updated faster than my other ones haha because most of you reviewed, so if you want more you must review ok:D and no I'm not going to make Sasuke have sex with and animal….that is just gross…it was just plainly for comedy ok? Anyways remember to review. Cheers!!!


	5. Chapter 5

Ok so I haven't updated in a while and all I have to say is……..

**I'M SOOOOOOOOOOO SORRRRRRRRYYYYYYY!!!!!**

Fortunately though I have good news and some bad news that follows on from the good news…but anyways OMG SCHOOL IS LIKE OUT FOR ME NEXT WEEK! WOO! No more school ever! So the good news is that I would probs start on my ff stories again….im sorry I hav been neglecting u all :'( but yes bad news I'm going for a holiday soon so I probs wont be back till next year…yes yes I know…but I will try to update heaps more before go okies:D enjoy this chapter…once again im so sorry I haven't updated for a while…thank you heaps to all those who reviewed!! U have my love! Haha

Chapter 5

And so it just happens that my next door neighbour wanted a babysitter for her four year old daughter and I happened to be outside with Naruto chasing after Sasuke. Luckily Naruto had caught him without a bird (I'm glad) and without my help. And that was how we ended up with a baby sleeping on my bed and Naruto trying to explain to Sasuke, in the simplest form possible, how babies were made. But I think Sasuke was just being cheeky cause every time Naruto looks somewhere I could see the corners of Sasuke's mouth quirk.

"- so therefore that is how babies are made. Get it, teme?"

Sasuke cocked his head to one side. "So what goes into where?"

"ARGHHHHHHH!!!! GO DIE! Then you won't need to know about SEX!!"

"Sex? What's that?" Again the corners of the mouth moved.

Naruto was now getting flustered. "Ok you dumb teme! Let me put this in tomato terms! There's a tomato and her name is Tsunade and then there's this carrot called Jiraiya. Ok, now these two are weird looking fruits as Tsunade has a open thing and Jiraiya has this thing in front. Ok, so lets say Jiraiya has a short and small thing ok? But you must know that the bigger it is the better but since its Jiraiya it has to be small ok? Good so ok….ummm…Jiraiya then hugs Tsunade and THAT'S IT!!!!"

Silence.

"Ummm…so I if hug Sakura-chan then we can make a baby?" Sasuke smirked and hopped up from his chair. "Lets make a baby! Sakura-chan!!!!!"

"OH NO WAY!" Naruto jumped up from his own chair and dragged Sasuke back to his chair. "In no way are you allowed to touch Sakura-chan and if you do I will stick you to the lampshade."

"Why a lampshade?" I raised my eyebrow at him. Sometimes Naruto does say the strangest things.

"I don't know. Because its over in the corner and it was the first thing I saw."

Uh. Right.

"Anyways," I clapped my hands. "I'm going to make something to eat. Do you guys want anything?"

"YES! RAMEN!" Naruto happily shouted.

"Yes. I want to make a baby!"

Naruto and I froze and looked back at Sasuke. Hasn't he gotten over baby making yet?

"Ummm….errrrr.." I stammered, and then quickly got up. "How about you," I pointed at Naruto, "explain to Sasuke how babies are made and I will run down to the shops and buy ramen." Naruto opened his mouth to protest, but I was out the front door before they could say babies.

"Ok teme," Naruto turned back to Sasuke. "I have a good idea, lets go steal Kakashi sensei's book and then you'll know."

"But what about this girl?" Sasuke pointed at the child sleeping peacefully on the bed.

"Right. Ok. You carry her and lets go. Actually no! You might molest her. I'll carry her and you get the book off Kakashi ok?"

Sasuke sulked and pouted. "No"

"Eh, why not? I thought you wanted to know how babies were made."

"I do, but.." Sasuke grinned.

"But what?!"

"But I want you to explain it."

"Damnit! Sasuke! I have explained it a thousand times! And you never even got a part of it! I tried to explain it using tomatoes, using oranges, carrots, sticks, donuts, paper, water and YOU DON'T GET IT! So this time we are going to steal Kakashi's book and you're gonna read it and your gonna like it and understand it because I will sit in front of you and watch you do all of this!" Naruto stopped.

"Are you finished yet?"

And Naruto took a deep breath. "No! because you weren't listening to me the first time! I will not tell you the art of making babies because your simple mind would not allow it, though isn't it kind of weird that you're asking me this because are you like sexually knowledgeable now?"

Sasuke smirked, "Right on dobe."

"YOU LIED TO ME! YOU MADE ME EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW TO HAVE SEX!"

"It was pretty funny dobe and stop yelling so loud you'll wake the poor child up. Anyways," Sasuke smirked. "I'm going to tell Jiraiya and Tsunade that you used them as fruits to explain sex terms to me. Haha, I wonder what Jiraiya would say if I tell him that you said he has a small penis."

Naruto's jaw fell open.

"Yes that's right baka, I will tell Jiraiya what you said and he'll toad kick you all the way to Sound."

"Its not that," Naruto whispered.

Now it was Sasuke's turn to look surprised. "Huh, its not? Then what is it? Is there something on my face? Or perhaps you're too stunned by my sexiness?"

Naruto shook his head.

"Then what is it?"

"You just said the P word."

"The what word?"

"The P word."

"The P word? Oh you mean Peni----mmffphhh!"

Naruto's free hand was immediately on Sasuke's mouth; he looked down at the baby on his other arm and sighed in relief.

"Shhhhh…she'll hear you!" Naruto whispered.

Sasuke glared at Naruto from behind his hand then slapped it away. "It's a baby, you idiot!" he hissed. "How is she going to understand us? She's a baby and she's asleep anyway?"

"No, I'm not." A little voice spoke up from under Naruto.

Oh dear….

A/N: There we go a make-up chapter for u guys….i hope u all enjoyed it and please don't forget to review…hopefully I will have around the next 2 chapters up before I go on hols! Please review and tell me your thoughts…much appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I actually don't know what to say…ehehehe…I guess I was too busy with life…but now I am actually really bored haha so here is the next chapter. MINA GOMEN!!! (-_-) (_ _) yep I bow v_v

Chapter 6

Note: I wrote in the last chapter that the baby was four years old. Please disregard that. The baby is around 1 years old. =]

"HOLY SEX ME!!" Naruto nearly dropped the baby.

"Was that a proposition?" Sasuke asked coyly.

Naruto looked back up at the Uchiha, shock still apparent on his face. "NO ITS NOT YOU TEME! AND STOP LOOKIN AT ME LIKE THAT!!! COME CLOSER AND ILL KICK U ALL THE WAY TO SUNA!! By the way, did you hear? The baby just talked?"

Apparently Sasuke wasn't really listening to Naruto's later questions. "Hmmm, well Garra's in Suna." Sasuke's eyes lit up devilishly, "And he's incredibly sexy….image those dreamy green eyes…and that body…I just want to run my hands down-"

"TEMEEEE!!!!!" Sasuke never got to finish his sentence as Naruto decided right there to knock him backwards, but as Naruto is a klutz after all he landed right on top of Sasuke, straddling the torso of Sasuke Uchiha. Yes, the baby is fine.

"You know Naruto, I'd rather be the one on top, but this works out fine I guess." Sasuke winked.

"EEEEEIIIIIIIIIIII!!!" Naruto practically flew off Sasuke and held the baby out as a shield between them.

"Hey, hey, hey. You can't hide behind a baby."

"Eh? Did you just talk again?" Naruto turned the baby back around and brought her close up. Then he received a forceful slap to the nose by the very small hands of the baby.

"Of course I talked," she rolled her eyes. "Duh, your not very smart are you?"

"But…but…YOU'RE A BABY!!!" Naruto eyes grew bigger, "HOW THE HELL CAN YOU TALK, and with very fluent sentences too I might add, how old are you?"

"I'm 1. Actually I'm not really 1, I'm like 15, but I'm probably stuck in this body until the spell is reversed." The baby sighed and looked back at Naruto. "My name is Nana and you're a baka."

"HEY! Don't insult me! I can drop you, you know."

"Yes, but I can do a drop roll from this height. You're not that tall, nor are you as handsome as the guy behind me, but I suppose he is a bit perverted for my liking."

"EWWWW!" Naruto screwed up his face, "Say that when you return to your normal body, but for now you're a baby and that's just wrong.." Naruto paused for a moment, "Ewww! Yuck I'm gonna drop you."

"Che, you're bullying a baby. Me for that matter and no matter how old my mental condition is, this is still a baby's body, and if you kill me I'll come back and haunt you."

"Didn't you say you could drop roll?"

"Argh! DOH!!" This time Nana's hand shot out and smacked herself in the forehead.

Naruto was speechless…"Dude, did you just slap yourself..?"

"It wasn't a slap, I just face palmed myself! Cause that's what people do when dumb people like you don't understand naturally intelligent beings like me…per say"

"Clearly it was a slap."

"Could you face palm yourself if your hands are smaller than your face?"

"…..Good question."

"Thank you."

"What if your palm is bigger than your face?"

"Then you've got cancer."

"Really?"

"Try it."

Just as Naruto had one of his palm hovering over his face – Nana is safely in his other hand yes – her hand shot out once again and slapped over his hand, causing Naruto's hand to effectively hit his face and stop there.

"OWWWIEEEEEE!!!"

"You really are a baka."

Naruto glared at Nana, "What did you do that for? Couldn't you see I was trying to check if I had cancer?!"

Again Nana rolled her eyes, Naruto was really gullible. "Yes, and the Hokage is really my biological mother."

"Eh?" Naruto stopped rubbing his face and stared at the baby with a incredulous expression. "No way!! That baa-chan is your mum?!"

"Argh! Kill me now!" Nana closed her eyes and delivered another face palm (or so she calls it) to her forehead.

"You just slapped yourself again."

"Shut up and put me down!"

"Okayy! Don't poop your diapers!" Naruto lowered Nana down to the floor, which she in turn surprised Naruto by walking around perfectly on her two feet.

"EH!! AREN'T YOU MENT TO BE CRAWLING!"

Nana glared over her right shoulder, "I'm 15!!!! Am I still meant to crawl when I'm 15!!"

Naruto rubbed his head and grinned sheepishly. "Ehehehehe. I guess not. Anyways where's the teme?" Naruto turned around, "Eh? Wasn't he meant to be there?"

"BAKA!" Again the face palm.

"You know Nana-chan, you should stop slapping yourself, its very harmful to that body of yours, specially your head, which you quite often hit."

"ARGH!! Let's just go find that hot friend of yours!" and with that Nana walked out the room.

"WAIT!! DON'T GO NEAR HIM!!" Naruto hurriedly stumbled out the room and scooped Nana into his arms, who only managed to scoot down to the second step of the stairs.

"TEMEEEE!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!???" YOU BETTER NOT BE DOING SOMETHING YUCK AND WRONG!!! TEMEEEE!!!"

"Will you stop yelling that loudly in my ear!" An irritated Nana glared up at Naruto, "I don't really want to pop my ear drums."

"Sorry! Sorry! Sasuke! Where are you?!!"

"NARUTO-KUN!" Naruto winced at Sasuke's tone. "I'M IN HERE!!! COME! SEE WHAT I FOUND!!!"

"Eh? Whereeeee?!"

"In the study room, duh that's where his voice is coming from!" Nana resisted the urge to face palm her head.

"Teme. What are you-" Naruto's jaw dropped open in surprise. Sure enough Sasuke was in the study room, using Sakura's new 27inch iMac, but no that wasn't what surprised Naruto. In fact, there in front of Sasuke and now Naruto - boy was he glad he had Nana's head facing his chest - as well was various opened windows of hentai.

A/N: hehe Sasuke and hentai? xD… just a little bit of light hearted fun-ness from Naruto and our very own Nana-Chan. Please don't take it too seriously…I doubt babies are able to smack themselves…and yes I am working on the next chapter since I am back for a while =]~ Thanks all!!


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